Sue Robson || Life Coach & Spiritual Practitioner

There you are, at work, and someone says something that triggers you. Feelings start flooding your body which you were just fine a moment ago. You don’t want to say anything you’ll regret, but you need to get back into balance because… you’re at work. What do you do? First, take a deep breath. Notice the breath coming into your nostrils and filling your lungs. Take one more breath and do it a little slower. Now take one more breath and make it deeper so you feel it expand your lungs a little larger than before. Let it out slowly. These three breaths will begin to reset your nervous system. Then, if you are still feeling triggered there are phrases that you can say to yourself especially if there is not time to talk about what has just happened with either the person that said the thing that triggered you or to a friend or coach.

As you are taking those 3 or 4 deep breaths, say to yourself, “What my co-worker just said really bothered me ‘AND’ I know that I am OK and safe right where I am.” Or “The topic that is being discussed in this meeting is very stressful ‘AND’ I will be able to talk about the content later with my manager.”

Or, let’s just say you are at home and you are feeling anxiety over some life changes that are occurring. You are feeling a big wave of fear which triggers the anxious feelings even more. Sit down in a comfortable spot and put one hand on your belly and the other hand on your heart. Feel the chair below you, and begin to do the deep breaths as I mentioned above and say to yourself or out load, “I feel afraid and these feelings are big and real and are rushing through my body ‘AND’ right here, right now, I am safe in this chair. I am safe in this room. Both of these things are true.” Continue with another set of the deep breaths and say the above again with your hands still in place. This also resets your nervous system.

Doing these things above first of all acknowledges that you are upset, triggered, and having big feelings. You are not trying to ignore the feelings. That will only make them bigger because they are trying to get your attention for a reason. This allows yourself to feel heard by You. Then you take the next step through deep breaths. This is giving your body what it needs in the moment so you can manage the trigger. Then, you are gently comforting yourself with the word “AND.” By using “AND” you are acknowledging that both things are true… that you are afraid, or hurt, or triggered “AND” right where you are you are OK, or safe, or that you will be able to take an action soon. You see, when we are in the middle of big feelings or emotions like fear, anger, grief, or anxiety, we don’t notice our surroundings well. This tool that I am sharing is to help ourselves to become aware of our surroundings, and our body, so that we can calm our nervous system and make the moment more manageable. So give this a try the next time you are feeling big emotions or anxiety. Write this down on a sticky note at your desk or chair to remind you to use this tool. Let me know how this works for you. 💕

NOTE: If you are in real danger and you need to remove yourself from a threat do not do the above!!! Leave the area, get to a safe location, or call for help. The tool that I am sharing above is for when you’re a dealing with big feelings or emotions and you need to help yourself calm down. If you need to talk to somebody because someone is going to harm you, call 911 immediately. If you feel that you may harm yourself, call 911 or the suicide prevention number which is 988.